Sex is not Love

                     

 “Just because I am going out with you does not mean that I have made a commitment to spending the rest of my life with you.”

So many young adults feel pressured into getting started with life which means find someone, get married, start a family. When in reality they need to go out and live life a little by meeting many people first and travel the world. Why is it necessary to do what our parents did? Times are changing, and we are living longer and having children much older. Slow down stop and smell the roses. There is no need to rush into commitment. Go ahead and find your purpose and passion before settling down.

It is only natural for us to want to be with a special person. A person who we feel will complement our life. There is a reason that this process is called dating.  It is to allow two people to get to know each other. If at any point we perceive something that turns us off or suggests that there is no basis between us for a relationship it becomes perfectly acceptable for us to move on.

Take time to get to know someone, and by doing that we get to know boundaries and ourselves.

When insecurity or immaturity drives one or both individuals, they may want to become sexually involved from the beginning.

Such an individual may perceive intercourse as a cementing the other person’s involvement with them and they move forward rather quickly without giving any thought to intimacy.

Are we really respecting ourselves when we proceed to get physically involved with someone with no knowledge of who that person really is? What are we basing our decisions on? Is it enough to invest merely in our perception of a fantasy?

We would hope to be in control of our emotions. We are not looking for our emotions to run us. After all, emotions are neither right nor wrong, they just are.

We want to feel secure in a decision-making process that will allow us to develop the dignity and respect for ourselves that we deserve. This is how we show love for ourselves.

Waiting until we have spent a little time trying to get to know someone before we decide to have sex with them allows for this. Once we feel respect and love for ourselves, we are able to give this love and respect to others.

As much as I want to say prolong sex in the beginning, I’m also a strong believer in chemistry, and if the mutual feelings are there, then go ahead and get physical with protective sex of course.

On and ending note: remember sex is not love; although, we can express love through sex.

Dokta Laura

Image consultant and life coach