Attraction Part 3

I have to say, honesty about you is the best way to approach any relationship. Although we desperately feel the need to relate to someone somehow, it is always best to find common ground when both parties are truly honest with themselves; therefore, expectations about the person are not exaggerated.

For example, if you are a smoker and the other person isn’t nor doesn’t like smoking, be honest about your enjoyment of smoking. If you enjoy food more than working out, then don’t mention you are on a diet and you’re going to lose twenty pounds, in order to impress the other party who is noticeably fit. Eventually, reality will speak for itself, when you sit around and you eat more than you exercise, and the other who is a hard body health-conscious person continues to live by example. If you have made no attempt to change your habits, eventually they will show up in a physical manner and the phrase
“Action speaks louder than words,” will become obvious.

As much as we want to impress the other party, the facade won’t last forever. The bigger disappointment comes when both parties find out they don’t share the same values because we can’t keep living on being someone we are not.
Habits are formed at a very young age and they are difficult to change for another person. It goes back to what I mentioned prior, make certain you know what you are expecting and wanting and are looking for in a partner.

The object, or goal is, to develop intimacy and to build the foundation of a meaningful relationship. Verbal communication is the utmost importance

Thinking that someone looks “hot” or that you can feel your juices flowing is certainly a beginning but it is not all we are looking for. Not only do we want to be able to have similar values, but we also want to be able to communicate in the same style.

Unfortunately, many of us learn the hard way. We think we can dive into relationships/marriage and that person loves us so much that we will be able to change that person into our favor; maybe not necessarily men as to women. Reality teaches us that we left out much communication in the beginning, and now we are stuck in a relationship with someone whom we despise; however if we can look past things and evolve then we can recognize that we both can live the life that best suits ourselves, with individual interests. Unfortunately, people will leave the other person before working on him or herself.

The truth is we can’t be everything to that person, but we can evolve to the best person we can possibly be to ourselves as we well as others. On the flip side, I’m a strong believer that sometimes moving on with someone else to have a healthier you is just as important. I'm even a stronger believer in moving on doesn't necessarily mean with a need to move onto someone else., just have a healthier you.