Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Opposites Attract

                               “I just love a guy that’s chill. I’m so crazy he just balances me out.”

There is a lot of truth to that quote. In an ideal situation, two people will seek to complement each other. They will see that what one has as a strength or skill the other may have as a weakness or ineptness, and vice versa.

There is validity to the saying “opposites attract.” An important component is to understanding not only our own strengths and weaknesses but also being aware of how the other person can complement those strengths and weaknesses.

In personality where two people are complete opposites, make certain that habits or traits you don’t like in the person isn’t carried on into a long term relationship such as marriage or at least have these discussions before marriage. When dating we seem to be more forgiving and overlook certain qualities that are important to us; however, marriage and everyday living with a certain person can make for a long time of uncertainty of choice. Even though we tend to like complete opposites, make certain they aren’t completely against your beliefs.  Another word don’t get completely involved or committed to someone whom you don’t agree in the other’s values.

I can’t stress enough how much attraction and chemistry play in a relationship. To have sex with someone who makes your heart go pitter patter is much more exciting than having sex with someone who is not so accommodating. Sex can be as simple as a touch or kiss. Mental sex can be just as good as physical sex. However we choose to have sex, make certain all parties are enjoying the experience.

I can’t imagine being involved in a marriage that was planned by family members. Not only are we not attracted physically, but we are also missing the mental connection that keeps couples together. Sometimes family can make or break a relationship so make sure you are tuned in and connected on your own terms and not because you have the approval of family members. In some cases we don’t have approval from family members and that requires accepting the person without others permission and not caring how others think as long as children aren’t involved.

Divorce rates are at an all-time high and in many cases children are involved. Children from a previous marriage does create complications so make certain when getting involved with this type of person, the children are a part of the equation. It is especially difficult to go into a relationship when only one party has children from a previous marriage. This is a good example of " complete opposites" from a different perspective. The person that doesn’t have children needs to consider a life style change.  If the party without children doesn’t want to share their life with all the family, then it is important to walk away from the relationship, because the person with children will never move on with just you. It takes a certain special person to want to get involved with a life involving children from a previous relationship.

Blended families are becoming the norm as more and more people get a reality check at what being married to the same person for a lifetime really means. The person getting involved without children needs to know truths about the not so glamorous life children can bring into a relationship. In some cases, it is best to wait till they have grown up and moved out if young needy children are something one doesn’t want to be a part of in the relationship, or simply move on to someone else.  Many things need to be processed when getting involved in this type of relationship, and thinking things through is usually not what most do when getting involved.  So make certain the children are thought of first before moving on with a committed relationship, because it will be only become more heart breaking for them to witness another bad marriage.

Opposite or not sex goes a long ways, so sometimes it’s best just to stick with sex for a long time coming, unless of course, your religion doesn’t allow.

Dokta Laura

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