Contact Part 1

                                                                      

Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You’re able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment;

 -Ralph Marston

It is always important; to figure out who we are according to our values and the type of individual we would like to be involved with on a long-term basis. Have you really put thought into the type of individual to whom you feel are attracted?  Or are you caught in the moment of feeling accepted and that’s enough to make a strong relationship last a lifetime?  

In the begining, we want to move toward friendship with a receptive attitude. Introduce yourself as if all you expected to do was to a make a friend of this person. In essence, friendship is the basis for achieving an intimate relationship. How do we go about it?

Let’s say for example, you see someone in which you would like to meet; however, you’re not certain how to approach that person based on the feelings of fear and insecurity. If we understand that everyone wants to be made to feel important, we will go into this situation feeling much more relaxed. 

Smile, because no one rejects a friendly face. I have never seen a smiling face that wasn’t received with openness have you?

Everyone likes to be around people who can enjoy themselves. Some may perceive that as acting in a very gregarious or outgoing manner. To others, it may mean behaving in a more subdued or reserved manor. Both types of personalities have behavior styles that explain their choices..  More important someone's style is truly his or her inherited personality. Be that personality you are; not the personality you mimic in others. Stay true to yourself

We are all familiar with the different types of personality profiling that essentially classifies behavior styles. These personality profiles have been used extensively in the workplace to determine the suitability of an individual to a specific job or to the company itself. In this case, it's important to understand oneself in order to move forward and gain understanding that not everyone is like you. I have a personality test available for my clients to determine who and what style compliment them; especially, when going into a relationship. I find it’s important to know what personality’s best suite you in a long term relationship. Although opposites attract, sometimes complete opposites won’t last a lifetime in a long term relationship if one or the other isn't willing to get out of his or her comfort zone to change up the pace.

For example, did you know that Extroverts and Introverts have different styles of enjoying sex? Extroverts bring excitement to introverts, in the bedroom, because they are the aggressor the one who makes all the moves.  Although extroverts don’t mind making all the moves at first, it will become boring quickly to the extrovert when the introvert doesn’t make an effort to seduce. After a while,the extrovert thinks there is no interest in sex, when all along the introvert is waiting for the extrovert to make the moves.

As much as we don't want to admit, sex does play a huge role in our relationships and if it's not happening for both parties equally, then one or the other will soon fade into existence.  It’s important to know what you are looking to achieve, because one or the other party will lose interest after the initial “New” has faded.

My point here is to emphasize seeking a greater understanding and awareness of ourselves. Differences can either work for or against us. Each of us possesses certain strengths or talents coupled with a fair amount of weaknesses.

 However; if your intent in a relationship is nothing other than casual sex then that is fine as long as both parties are fully aware of any and all consequences and expectations. 

Dokta Laura

Image consultant and life style couch  laura@doktalaura.com